My own experience with depression is not something I usually talk about openly, but I have suffered depression on and off since adolescence. In recent years I have improved a great deal.
There are many reasons for my improvement, but perhaps that is a story best left to another day, as today I want to focus specifically on depression in relation to homeschooling.
I contacted the well known homeschooling, and in particular, natural learning advocate Beverly Paine. Beverly has home educated her children through to adulthood while dealing with depression. She was very gracious and honest in answering my questions.
There were other significant stress factors at play in our lives at the time: we were owner-builders and the house in which we lived still required considerable work to finish it; I had inadequately managed chronic asthma and sinus infections; we were living on an incredibly low income, and I wasn’t getting on at all well with my parents or my in-laws!
As a home educating mum in these early years I doubted my ability to teach the children what I thought they were supposed to learn: little by little my children demonstrated that even with considerable ‘down time’ from their teacher-mum they progressed through the curriculum anyway. Simply playing and living, doing the chores, taking part in everyday family life looking after our needs, proved to be an okay educational approach.
I worried quite a bit about what other people thought, and frequently wondered if I had the right to perform this social, developmental and educational experiment on my children. Back then few families were home educating – we began in 1985. Time has shown that it wasn’t really an experiment: school is actually the experiment! “
Once we decided to home educate the children we never seriously considered it as an option. Our children were free to go to school if they wished, but being very involved with their education in a hands-on way was always going to be a part of our lives. It was not negotiable, not even when my mental health deteriorated to the point that I had a breakdown. My children were an important and active aspect of the healing process, the journey toward mental wellness.”
I did whatever I could do on the harder days. I created ‘lists’ of the things I needed or wanted to do and eventually accepted that it was okay if I managed to tick only one thing off that list: in fact, one task done was cause for celebration, it became a goal for the tough days. I learned that tomorrow was another day and that quite likely the ‘mood’ will have passed and it was okay to tackle today’s chores tomorrow. I learned that it was okay for others to do those chores instead of me, especially if they were willing, happy to offer. I gave myself permission to sit and write. I read books about self-development. I learned about the different things that triggered my mood swings and bouts of depression. I began to avoid those triggers. I avoided social over-stimulation. I learned it was important for me to be in bed by 11pm at the latest. Most of all I gave myself permission to focus on being an attentive parent, enjoying simply playing with the children and exploring enjoyable past-times with them.”
So, can you homeschool your children if you suffer depression?
Yes, absolutely! With the right systems in place. Here are my tips:
*Know your triggers.
*Don’t allow yourself to get overtired.
*Avoid unnecessary stress.
* You time. Make time to do things that nourish you.
*Let go of unrealistic expectations and accept that this is part of you.
I hope this has helped you in some way, please feel free to continue the discussion in the comments.