I usually take the children to the library on a Friday morning. This morning I had the misfortune of coming across a sourpuss. I was browsing some magazines while holding the baby and watching the 2 girls, boy was elsewhere in the library. The baby was silent, as was the 2 year old. My 4 year old, who is a “handful” at the best of times was rearranging some chairs and playing a chattery game in her usual fashion.
A woman sitting nearby turned to a man also sitting nearby and said something to the effect of “People are so inconsiderate, I can’t believe they’re so rude!”
I looked at her in surprise, she was looking down and shaking her head. I realised she was referring to me. I looked at the man and shrugged and smiled, the smile was not returned.
For the rest of the time we were in that section of the library (about 5 minutes total!) she continued to shake her head and mutter.
I considered my options and chose to extend my browsing and ignore her just to force her to put up with us and show that I didn’t intend to be bullied. Before we left I made my daughter correct all the chairs she had moved out of place, this seemed to annoy the lady even more!
Apart from making me angry, this kind of encounter is very hurtful to me.
It’s not just her.
It’s the driver who races up close behind my van in an aggressive manner simply because a van full of children does not accelerate as quickly as their sporty little number. (Yes, this happened on the way home)
It’s the shop owner who looks me up and down disgustedly when I enter with children in tow.
It’s all the people who give me no support (including family) because they think I have too many children and don’t approve of my homeschooling them.
I work hard. I’m exhausted most of the time. I get depressed and feel isolated. None of this is easy for me. My husband and I can only rely on each other for help. It means so much when someone compliments me on my family, even a smile of approval on the street lifts my spirits.
OK, there’s my rant, thanks for reading.
I have to say, I've been given the looks as well and heard the mutterings while my kids were young. Now, when we see kids, JUST BEING KIDS, My husband and I smile, because we know just how long this will last. NOT long enough. Sure, there are times that an upset child, screaming in the store gets to me. but one having fun and giggling or smiling sure makes up for those times in a hurry. Enjoy each moment. They don't last near long enough.
I know how you feel. We are isolated too and some days I know that all the work I do is un supported by family and we have no close friends here either.
OUR children are a blessing though and I wouldn't be without them
God BLESS
oh what a day. I am surprised the lady didn't realize the irony of her own comments and how rude they were.
Here is a (((HUG))).
What a nasty couple they are. I bet they don't have grandkids and if they did they aren't the sort who are adored and climbed all over.
I'm so sorry that you had such a tough time.
I certainly understand the comment about the number of children and lack of support. Like some how we don't deserve support if we have more than the standard 2 children.
My family are equally unsupporting. To the extent they have never been happy to hear they are having another grandchild. Just another lecture on the number of children I already have and undermining of my self confidence in my mothering.
I wish I could give you a really big hug and have a cry with you. It's just not fair how mean, rude and judgemental people can be. Especially family
Here is a hug and smile for you š
I commend you for taking your children to the library on your own.
aunteegem@yahoo.com
Hugs to you people can be so rude and mean.
Guess her kids never made a sound!
big ((hugs)). People are so rude! Don't let them get you down – you're doing a fab job.
You really did have a rough day. There is nothing worse than feeling unsupported, especially by family.
I think you are doing a wonderful job!!! A four year old chatting to themselves is quite normal, and very cute– I think that the woman is the one who was rude and inconsiderate.
Hugs!
Marlya x
I know what you mean! I've had it in shopping centres too whe we are getting groceries – people get cranky when the pram with a small child holding on and walking either side is too wide for them to get by – yet if they were running riot they would complain more.
People frequently bump small children as they rush past and they sigh if you say excuse me to get the pram through a tight spot.
You keep doing what you are doing and don't let them get to you, be confident in the knowledge that your children are well-adjusted and educated individuals and despite your tiredness (or perhaps becuase of it!) you are doing the most valuable job in the world.
Sorry to hear your family are not supportive of you.
Rmember that while parenting can be the hardest job in the world (what with the complete lack of instuction books that came with the kids!) but it is also the most rewarding.
Take care.
Oh my darling… you made me a little teary!!
Now that I know this will post – rude mailer daemon message or not lol – I have to say….. ((HUGS!))
I know a little about how you feel – only having one kidlet right now – but I have no support around either thanks to moving to "woop woop" & feel ever so isolated & drained sometimes (that's why I have a love love relationship with the internet – it connects me to soooooooo many other mummies going through all the same mummy things…).
I've given up taking Le Punk to the library all together for now – there is something about the quiet & the wide aisles that has her turn from regular toddler into "girl raised by wolves" & there is just no point. Your kidlets sound positively angelic however & rude old people should keep their unwelcome comments to themselves!! (I would have given her the ol' evileye lol, being nowhere near as nice & polite as you, which would have made the situation worse, but made me feel better…!)
I got "the look" from some old duck in the oppy the other day, Le Punk would not be held but I had to make some attempt, lest mounds of $2 glassware become mounds of shattered glass, and she decided the best course of action was to smack me repeadedly, & forcefully, across the head…. I ignored her & tried to browse but Old Duck was giving me a shocking look – even with that self rightious shake of the head, which screamed "What a monster!" or some such… oh how angry that made me!
Anywho, I just wanted to tell you you you are sooooooo not alone & you are a mother I greatly admire, so keep up the good work & ignore senile old biddies with nothing better to complain about!
xoxo
Sometimes the world is so not a child friendly place! Hang in there and recognise that your gorgeous cherubs are worth the effort – and you know what I always think? What if one of those special children grows up to find a cure for cancer, or to impact the world poverty situation, or even just becomes a great member of society?! Parenting is the toughest job in the world so be kind to yourself today!
Keep smiling!
I hope you have a better day soon!
Oh you poor thing. People can be so mean at times when the world isn't operating they way they think it should. I remember a time when I took my three, well behaved children to a quilt shop where they quietly played with the toys provided in the area set aside for them occasionally walking across to me to show me something. We were treated with absolute disdain by the shop owners and they couldn't get rid of us quickly enough. I guess they were expecting trouble.
The world isn't just here for adults and children don't have to be contained in institutions all the time. It isn't easy being a parent out in the community because so many are only too ready to harshly judge. What a pity those people couldn't have been entertained by your daughter's game rather than irritated.