mothering

Planning to NOT fail

Last year was a bit of a doozy in our little homeschool and it’s only in the past couple of weeks that I’ve figured out what went wrong.

I was trying to juggle the demands of family, homeschooling, activities outside the home, volunteer roles and a growing home business and so I assumed that there was simply too much for me to do on my own. This lead to exhaustion and a definite lack of hope – how could I get through everything that needed to be done?

Towards Christmas and in the holidays afterwards it started to dawn on me. Each day would start with that overwhelmed feeling, knowing I would be chasing my tail until I fell into bed that night. You would think after 12 years of doing this, I would have systems in place, but life is ever changing as people grow and every year is different to the last. I started thinking – does it have to be this way? What positive changes could I make to avoid another year in this state?

Well, a few years ago, I decided that I hated planning. I felt that if I spent the best part of my day educating the children, why should I spend my precious evenings planning for the next day? So I did away with all planning and I think that is where things started to go wrong, though at the time I felt I was freeing myself of a great burden. I think also over this time period, the kids, whether consciously or sub consciously, began to lost confidence in me. And I definitely began to lose confidence in me!

But now I was ready to give planning another try – not in the way that I used to. At the start of this year, I bought a planner from Homeschooling Downunder and printed out the pages I felt would be relevant. I bought colour coded folders and boxes for each child.

I sat down, mostly amongst the noise and interruptions that come with having your children with you 24/7 and I spent hours writing lists and schedules. I didn’t like doing it. I would much rather have been weaving! But now, as our homeschool year has begun, I am already seeing the fruits of having a solid plan.

The kids have learned how to find their own schedules in my planning folder so they know what is expected of them. This worked perfectly yesterday morning when I had to sit in a medical waiting room for 2 hours. Under the supervision of their older brother, my 2 middle children worked independently, while I had the youngest child with me doing our current read aloud.

There is a new jobs roster too – ensuring that everyone pitches in to help because it is written down and followed. I’ve scheduled morning tea teams, which I’m hoping will lead to lunch teams and eventually dinner teams – lessening the time that I need to spend in the kitchen each day and teaching the children to work together responsibly in food preparation and clean up.

I do a quick 10 minute prep each night to ensure I have materials ready for any experiments or activities the next day. I’m finding that the children thrive on this organised schedule and they even admit that the day goes more smoothly when they get up early and are at the table ready to go. I’ve also decided against some activities outside the home this year – our home is our hub and should be treated with love and respect!

Is it perfect? No way, nothing ever is! I still have very full days, I still have to deal with poor attitudes sometimes, I still don’t love planning! But, there does seem to be more time in the afternoons for me to focus on my weaving and business and the children are much happier with a set routine. So, for now, this is how we roll.

I wish you all the very best in your homeschool this year, may it bring you many blessings and much joy!

Bite your tongue Mum.

by Kelly 3 Comments

“You are such a naughty child!”

“Sometimes I wonder whether you will ever learn anything!”

“Are you kidding me, you tipped it over again?!”

“What is wrong with you?!”

“You have ruined my day!”

“Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?”

“You make me so angry!”

Gosh, aren’t they nasty statements?

Well, I’ve thought of all of these, quite regularly in fact. The worst part is I’ve even said some of them to my children.

It’s really hard to not verbalise these thoughts sometimes. But I look upon it like this. I’m storing up treasures. These treasures are especially for my children. Each time I bite my tongue is a little victory. Yes, for me, but so much for them.

They may not know about your interior struggle but they will remember your words. 5, 10, 20, how ever many years down the track, they will remember your words and how you made them feel.
I know this. You know this.

Is it time for you to start storing some treasure too?

The week that went so fast…

by Kelly 4 Comments

The word “busy” is a bit overused these days I reckon, but I will admit that it was a very “full and varied” week for us! I was looking forward to today and thinking of the sewing I need to do, that great looking cook book I got from the library I haven’t had time to browse, and of course, I could warp up the loom ready for a new project. The reality of the day has been taxiing my son to kung fu, walking the dog (well that was relaxing at least!), shopping, laundry work and cooking up huge batches of bolognaise and stew for next week, which also promises to be very “full”.

I started to reflect, in my tired and slightly overworked state, that I didn’t give enough time to the kids this week, I didn’t get to help my son with that maths he’s been asking me about, didn’t get time for much reading with the girls, didn’t get to do much preparation for my daughter’s up and coming First Holy Communion…

But then I had a little reality check, that is that God was so good to tap me on the shoulder and say “wake up and check the facts”. I was really busy this week, it’s true, but what was it that kept me so occupied?

My vocation of course!

A wife, a mother, this is my vocation and this is what I do. I may not have been able to do everything that I thought was necessary, but it was because I was actively caring for my family and home, something that takes a lot of time and work.

I thought of my future self, when the children are grown and making their own way in the world. Will they say “Mum, thank you for making us study so hard, I feel so much smarter for it”. Is that what I want to hear?

Or would something like: “Mum, thank you for your constant love, care and sacrifice. Thank you for letting us be children, for enriching our lives, for being fun, for passing on our beautiful faith by your example” be more pleasing to my ageing ears?

Bring on next week!

I didn’t have time…

by Kelly 3 Comments

I didn’t have time to finish the ironing today. I didn’t have time to clean the toilet. Or to scrub that desperately dirty shower. Or to dust the layers of built up dust. Or to tidy my sewing table. Nope, no time to vacuum out the van either.

But I did have time to do art and craft with the children. I had time to take them to the playground to play in the sun. I had time to make them tasty and wholesome meals. I had time to wash and hand their clothes. I had time to respond to the seemingly endless “watch me Mum!”s and smile and laugh where appropriate. I had lots of time for hugs and kisses.

And the day is not over yet! I will have time to bathe them and wash their hair. We will all pray together. We will read books and snuggle together.

I’m annoyed and disappointed that I didn’t have time to do everything that I could have today. But I’m so grateful that I made time to do all the things I should.