I don’t think I need to ask whether you have that little voice in your head that tells you negative things.
The one that, if you listen too much, will convince you that you are a failure. That you’re not smart enough. Not capable enough. Nope, sorry kid, you’re just not gonna make it!
I’ve heard a lot of people tell me they are a weaving failure. When I hear that, I inwardly sigh. I’ve been there, I know how it feels to be sure that you just can’t do it.
“But Kelly, how you can understand, you’re so good at weaving! You teach weaving to thousands of people all over the world! You’re so talented!“, I hear you thinking, even if you don’t say it.
What some people don’t realise is that I got to where I am today simply because I did not give up. I wanted to be a weaver and so I was determined to make it work.
“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.” – C.S. Lewis
Sometimes it was really hard. Often I wanted to give up. I didn’t want to feel that I was failing over and over. Like most people, I wanted instant success. I still do – it’s a journey.
Oh, and by the way, about that talent thing? Hard work and persistence trump talent any day. Put in the work, do it consistently, learn from your mistakes and just keep going. That is the simple formula for weaving success.
“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
What if we switch this failure thing on it’s head here for a minute? So, you’ve started to learn how to weave and it’s difficult, probably quite a bit more difficult than you envisioned. It’s frustrating, and the only time you’re having fun is at the occasional magic moment when it all comes together and works.
Here are some thoughts that might be running through your head in the moments of frustration:
“I’m not suited to this”.
“I’m not smart enough to do this”.
“I simply lack the ability to do this”.
“It’s too hard!”
Now we will turn those statements around so that we are still acknowledging the frustration, but in a positive rather than negative way:
- “I’m not suited to this” – “This all feels so unfamiliar at the moment, but I will get past that”.
- “I’m not smart enough to do this” – “Anyone can learn this, myself included”.
- “I simply lack the ability to do this” – “I will keep practicing to learn the skills I need”.
- “It’s too hard!” – “This sure is a challenge, but I know it won’t always feel that way”.
The first statements are what I think of as “giving up” statements. The second statements are you being your own little cheer squad 😀
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
I see a lot of newer weavers who are simply too hard on themselves. There is a plethora of reasons as to why we (myself included) put ourselves down and talk negatively to our inner selves. The power of the mind is huge and can work to our disadvantage or advantage.
There are so many common traits that I see, and so many of them can be easily remedied.
- Impatience. Oh yeah, you know it. We are an impatient lot these days. We want what we want and we want it now! But does it make us happy? Indeed, it does not!
- High expectations. As I’ve said before, it’s better to have high hopes than high expectations.
- Unrealistic goals. Goals are great, I love setting personal goals. But setting goals that are waaaay beyond your current skill level with not always be beneficial. Be realistic about what you know now, what you want to learn next, and how you can use those skills in your next project.
- Comparison. I’m sure that you’ve heard the quote “comparison is the thief of joy“. Don’t try to start at somebody else’s finish. There are so many different learning styles, levels of comprehension and learning paces. It’s OK to learn the way YOU learn!
Finally, I’d like to leave you with this most excellent quote:
“Remember that failure is an event, not a person” – Zig Ziglar
Your weaving project is just some yarn on a loom, if it’s not going well, don’t internalise it.
I hope this article was helpful to you!
If you feel that you would benefit from some help in your weaving, check out the Online Weaving School for a huge variety of classes for all skill levels.
If you sign up for a membership, you also receive access to the private member’s group. This wonderful community may be just what you need to boost your confidence.
Until next time…
Happy Weaving
Thanks so much for this article, Kelly. I often feel like this and I can be very hard on myself but I’m trying to tell myself that this is just a journey and I will do some things better than others. I really appreciate your honesty.
I loved this article, Learning is an adventure and yes, one day everything goes great, the next time a mistake and I try to turn that into a challenge, find a way to fix it. It can be frustrating but the rewards are so worth the journey. My family is so surprised at what I am learning, The little tricks of the trade you give us for straight sides and I am getting bolder with color, getting ready to try a new pattern, with a twist of my own. I am still learning to estimate the yardage I will need to make a scarf without a pattern. I get the heddle right by measuring the yarn on a ruler, I guess experience and following your advise will help me with this.
I finally am catching up with my member emails.
Having learned at a young age that looking at mistakes as learning experiences and not failures is what lead me to my artistic and crafty successes.
It was my fear of success that would hold me back.
As I got older (turning 69 on May 29( I’ve learned how to embrace my successes.
Love that Lori! 🥰
Kelly
Thank you for all of you encouragement.
I have been an online weaving lesson member for over 3 years. I have learned so much from weave along videos. I started with your beginner classes. I fell in love with weaving. Yes it was frustrating at times but it is so rewarding to finish a project and say wow I did it. I always look forward to new challenging online classes. Thank you for helping me through this journey. I am enjoying the challenge of creating
Thanks again
Barbara
Kelly, I just found this article this morning. It was so encouraging. So many times, that little voice in my head tells me, “You can’t do this.” “You’re going to mess this up.”, gets louder. I have to remind myself that this is a learning process, and you’re right; it’s only yarn. Just enjoy the process.
Thank you for that reminder.
I am new at this, two months, and have completed three projects. The challenge, I won’t say the hard part, is selecting the colors to use in the warp and weft. I get so worried that the colors won’t be right. Once I get past this, I am good to go.
By the way, I have taken two of your classes, which have given me so much guidance and increased my confidence. I look forward to building my understanding of myself as well as weaving.
Thanks again for your guidance in this adventure!
Thank you, Kelly!
I really needed to read this today-not for weaving, but for life. I started a new job recently and have been tempted to quit a few times due to the very things you mentioned. I prayed last night about what to do, and here you are. Thanks again!
I hope the new job all works out for the best, it can be so overwhelming initially. By the way, whether you stay at the job or not – do your best and see what happens. It may turn out to be the perfect job for you, or it may turn out that you’re better off somewhere else, it’s all good ❤️
This article is so appropriate. Today I undid about 5 inches of weaving because I found I had made a mistake in the pattern. I finished the undulating twill scarf (4 shaft weaving class) but still had enough warp for a small mat. I was nearly finished and rushing and that’s when I lost my place and did the pattern wrong. Even though it was just a mat I couldn’t live with the mistake. You can imagine what was going through my head as I ‘wasted’ so much time taking out the weaving. I have worked out where I should have been so hopefully tomorrow will finish and take everything off the loom.
Oh, I empathise, it’s so disappointing when you’re almost at the finishing line and something goes wrong!
Thank you brilliantly encouraging Kelly ! I think of weaving as a journey, some days I’m on an easy path through the meadow and others days it’s a rocky path up a mountain! But I am moving forward and that’s the main thing!😄
Brilliantly encouraging Kelly ! I think of weaving as a journey, some days I’m on an easy path through the meadow and others days it’s a rocky path up a mountain! But I am moving forward and that’s the main thing!😄
Thamks Kelly for raising this. I am a self confessed quitter but not when it comes to weaving. I love it too much, even when it goes terribly wrong I move on and learn from the experience. I’m finding I like doing some projects but not others so am trying to find my style. And finally my selvages are really good now (mostly). Really exciting.
Failures!!! I don’t think so.
A lot of my achievements I can contribute to you and your wonderful school so thank you for all your hard work and dedication to us.
Thank you for your encouragement Kelly. I wish I had heard these words seventy years ago! BUT, I am making up for lost time now. It’s never too late to be kind to yourself, or to stop comparing your achievements with those of others and finding yours wanting. I love your classes and videos, and look forward so much to your weekly letter!
Kelly, thank you for these words! Perfect timing. It feels like I’ve been steam rolled by life for the last several months. Tonight before going to sleep I wanted to flip through my copies of Debby Greenlaw’s books on Krokbragd so that when I wake up in the morning my mind will already be focussed. And Then I turned to page 224 and you were there smiling out from the page. When I checked email last time there was your encouraging message.
This is just meant to be.
“Steam rolled by life” – ah, that feels familiar! It’s a horrible feeling but it’s just that – a feeling. Things always get better and every day is a blessing. So, you’re going to weave some krokbragd next? Do you have a project picked out? 😊
Thank you Kelly for your encouragement ! Your courses are so well explained !
Your weaving school has taught me techniques that I was not sure I could learn.
I really needed to hear this today. I’m only a few months into weaving, and have been beating myself up about the flaws in my work—floats, selvedges, inconsistent picks—and have been depressed by others who started just as recently but who just seem to be So Good So Soon! And my perfectionist nature (which I’ve long tried to tamp down) is my worst enemy, finding every flaw. But with each project I give to a friend, each error-riddled tabby weave I post online, I realize that the tiny flaws that I see are invisible to others. And they’re all chances to learn. And I am improving, which is what I try to focus on.
That’s how I felt at school and university, everyone else seemed to know what to do and I was just scratching my head! It’s true, that some will take to weaving really fast without too many problems, but they are certainly the minority rather than majority. Everyone’s learning experience is valid, just different 😉
Hi Kelly, I can’t thank you for all the videos that have helped me become a pretty good regid heddle weaver. I have taken a leap and purchased a floor. Loom with with four heddles….probably should have got the 8 heddle, but the 4 was available in our little town in Idaho so I bought it. What a challenge, purchased your “floor loom threading” class and am moving forward, however slow I am loving the process. Keep up the great work We love you.
76 year old grandma can learn so-can The rest of you. Love Marilyn
Congratulations on your new loom Marilyn, and don’t worry, there is a LOT you can do with 4 shafts 😊
Hey Kelly! You are always an inspiration for me! You have definitely made me a better weaver from all your classes and positive words.
Thank you!
Sue
Thank you Sue!
Dear Kelly,
I am still a relatively new weaver (it was the best thing about the pandemic for me), and remember the negative feelings and impatience I would feel as a beginner with no real sewing, knitting, or crochet experience. The more I kept at it, the more tolerant of my foibles I became. Now “part of the fun” is figuring out how to get out of the jams I still occasionally find myself in! I have found that almost everything can be fixed,,, or if not, either I won’t make the same mistake next time, or, the finished project is still beautiful, just not perfect.
Weaving has made me more patient, tolerant, and appreciative. Thank you for being my guide, Kelly.
Jean
That is one thing I really love about weaving, it actually helps you to build character and become a better person. It has taught me a lot too, what a wonderful thing ❤️