faith

Taking each day as it comes

Life can be so up and down, constantly changing, imperfect.

This week, we started back homeschooling. Traditionally, Australians take a longer break over Summer but considering our disrupted year last year and the girls needing a solid routine, we decided to start back early. We had some new books to start on, the girls were excited about that too.

I did a lot of pre planning again, hours of work actually, so I felt confident to start the new year. The first day went fairly smoothly apart from one girl needing an attitude adjustment (this is something we are consistently working on with this child). My youngest girl surprised me by getting stuck into her work with gusto and really enjoying it.

Fast forward to Friday morning and, following a social engagement yesterday, the girls were late to wake and get started. After a fair bit of pushing on my part, we started our homeschool morning. It wasn’t very long before there was a complete meltdown and tears from the little one. I was disappointed, I had lessons prepared. However, experience has taught me that there is no point in making an overtired, unreasonable child sit and the table and work, so it was back to bed with her, and there she stayed for the whole morning reading. The upside is she finished one novel she hadn’t completed last year and got through another short novel. She was still learning, it was ok. I was able to continue the planned lesson with the other girls.

Plan A is a beautiful thing to the eyes of a homeschool Mum who has spent the time preparing, planning and researching. But, very often, plan B just has to do, and usually it is enough if we accept it as such. It’s not easy to let go of hopes, but often it’s the only solution.

Running a business has been very much the same. Last week was huge, I released a new pattern, there was a huge amount of activity in my online weaving school, it was all very busy and exciting. This week, the complete opposite with practically no sales, very little activity and even social media has been very quiet. A newly released Youtube video has received very little attention.

Plan A for the business is that I can make a living doing this, that all the hours I put in will finally be worth it. The reality (plan B) is, I have to keep pushing on and endure the good times with the bad and keep hoping.

Many times I have wanted to give up on things that seemed too hard – whether it’s homeschooling or my business or something else. But every time I want to throw the towel in I say to myself “wait until tomorrow”. When tomorrow comes, I’m usually good to go again, the new day gives new perspective.

I love the words of one of my favourite saints, Padre Pio –

“Pray, hope and don’t worry”.

The point at which it gets really hard

by Kelly 8 Comments

It was really hard seeing our normally healthy 17 year old son rushed into the resuscitation unit in a medically induced coma.
It was hard having him transferred to intensive care.
It was really hard when he deteriorated and was placed in a medically induced coma.
It was hard seeing him come out of that coma days later.
It was hard watching as he was transferred out of ICU into the respiratory ward, but didn’t improve as expected.
It was awfully hard signing the consent for surgery to remove fluid from around his lungs.
It was hard seeing him experience the pain and discomfort of having a drainage tube in his back.
It was hard seeing him deteriorate again with fevers and low blood pressure and a high heart rate and having 2 larger tubes inserted in his side.
Today was a really hard day. Waiting for another, more major surgery to remove fluid again, followed by an epidural to numb his body for days (therefore numbing the pain) and then being told at the end of the day that the surgery was postponed to Monday.
Now we wait out the weekend, knowing that surgery is coming.

But you know what? I think all this has been harder on us than on him. Because he is a champion. He has endured countless procedures, needles, drugs, ups and downs without complaint. He always has a cheerful smile for us and looks forward to our visiting. He is resigned and accepting of his situation. His faith in God is strong and simple.
I think I have a lot to learn from this boy.

Please pray for the complete recovery of our son. Thank you to all those who have been praying, messaging and sending cards and parcels. We so appreciate your concern.

I’ve also set up a Gofundme campaign as a special surprise for when he can finally come home. Any donation is greatly appreciated.

Fear of Failure

by Kelly 2 Comments

“I’m scared I’m going to fail”.
A brief pause, a very slight sigh. My husband is used to this. He is strong, trusting and practical. Me? I’m prone to nervousness, flightiness and a sense that things won’t turn out.
It’s one of those late at night conversations, the children are in bed and we have some precious moments to ourselves before we have to sleep.

“Are you scared that you are running out of ideas for classes?” he asks. Oh no, that is not the trouble at all.
It’s failure that I’m afraid of. So often there is a voice in the back of my head saying “what is the point of all this work, you know you’re going to fail anyway”. Sometimes this fear has been strong enough that I don’t try something new or pursue a different idea, fear can be crippling. Many times I have made the decision to give up on trying to make a business, only to change my mind the next day.

I have put so much work into new classes. I have taken the risk of launching on a new platform, it’s a wonderful step to have taken, but it’s expensive and risky.

My sensible and pragmatic husband listens quietly to my concerns as he has done time and again. He points out that you never know unless you try. He reminds me that it’s all in God’s hands and if the business does not succeed, it is because He wills it not to – for His own reasons and because He loves and knows me best.

My husband reminds me what I already know, but find very difficult to live. It is not all about me. Everything is a gift, including my life, and that I must be willing to give back to He who gives so generously.