Many years ago, there was a beautiful little yarn and embroidery shop in an upmarket seaside suburb around 30 minutes drive from my home. Visiting was a treat, as the shop was in an historic stone building, had several rooms and was wonderful just to look at.
I couldn’t afford to spend much on yarn or supplies back then, but I once splurged on some beautiful cashmere yarn to knit a hat for my newborn, and I even once went to the extravagance of buying a pretty floral handkerchief for each of my girls, just because I wanted them to have something pretty.
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One time, my husband drove past this shop with a new work colleague. She pointed at the shop and said “that’s for people with too much time on their hands”.
My husband was slightly bemused, knowing that I was a customer of the shop. He also knew that, at that moment, I was at home, caring for and homeschooling our 4 young children. On a good day, I was able to take 30 minutes to 1 hour to work on a craft project. Many days, I was either too busy or too exhausted to even consider doing something creative. I certainly didn’t fit the profile of someone with too much time on her hands!
Time is a funny thing. Our ideas and beliefs about time are funny too. Often when people say they “don’t have time” to do something, it is really just a bit of a cover up. An excuse.
An excuse to not have to exert effort in order to learn something new. Maybe they know they have to save some money to buy the necessary materials to start learning and that is something they don’t want to do. Maybe (and I think perhaps this is the most common reason people make excuses) is to hide the fact that they are afraid of failing.
Since I started my Online Weaving School almost 4 years ago, I’ve heard from thousands of weavers all over the world from all walks of life. Many are brand new to weaving, some have been weaving for some time, and others have not yet begun but have a desire to start.
I’ve heard frequently from people who say they have been wanting to learn to weave for 20, 30, 50 years! Overwhelmingly, new weavers have told me that they wish they had started earlier instead of waiting for “the right time”.
You see, the majority of people live their lives in a box of societal expectation.
Finish school. Go to college. Get married. Have a family. Somewhere in amongst all of that, buy a house. A couple of cars. Work. Raise your family. Keep working. Kids are grown up and left home? Now you have more time to work! Accumulate more stuff with the money you earn from working. Indulge in expensive holidays in an attempt to recuperate from working. Go back to work, after all, someone has to pay for the lifestyle I’ve just described. And then…. one day, finally, you get to retire! THEN you have the time to do all the things you have been really wanting to all these years. You’re likely in your early 70’s by this stage.
None of the above are bad things, they are good things. It is good to get married and raise a family (in fact, I think it’s one of the best things anyone can do!) It is good and necessary to work. Holidays are lovely. Having things you want is nice. But these things are not exclusive, and they don’t have to be compartmentalised.
I have not approached my life as a checklist of things to be done before I can invest in myself and my passions. I am raising children right now, still homeschooling, caregiving and providing. My role as a wife and mother are very important to me. And yet, it is also very important that I get time to be creative and work on things I love. Doing so makes me a better wife, mother and person. It’s part of who I am.
When I began weaving, we had small children and very little money. Yes, I too had my mental excuses as to why I couldn’t learn to weave. Not enough time. No spare money. I needed to wait for the right time. I might not be smart enough to do it.
But, with my husband’s help, I became convinced that it was a good thing to do, and we worked past the excuses to make it happen. To say that the decision to save for and purchase my first rigid heddle loom has been life changing would be putting it very mildly!
And it’s not just me, only yesterday a student told me that learning to weave has been “life affirming” for her.
If you have been wanting to learn to weave, but for “some reason” have not started, I encourage you to look at your situation realistically. Are your reasons actually excuses? Are they a cover up for something else?
I want to talk just a little more about time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. We also have choices about how those hours are used. Do you work all day, get home and collapse in front of the tv? This might seem a little harsh to some, but I am sure that if you have time to watch tv, you have a lot more free time than you might think. Do you spend hours surfing the internet or on social media? Then, guess what? You have time to learn something new!
Overrun with little kids? Yep, I’ve been there and I would use their nap or sleep times in order to do something creative. If that didn’t work out, I would involve them in what I was doing in order to get that time for myself. Sometimes that would be having a child sort through my button or ribbon collection, which they thought was awesome fun. Sometimes it would be having a child sit on my lap while weaving to “help” me beat.
Last year, I wrote a post about planning and prioritising in your days so that you could make time to do the things you really wanted to. I included a printable daily planner that I hope some of you might use to make some plans and goals.
What I want you to get out of this post at the very least is that you don’t know what you don’t know. You need to take that first step of trying and then another step, and then another. The point is to make a start, because retirement could be a long time away!
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One more story that struck me when I read it in a magazine and has stayed with me for years. An older woman was sitting in a doctor’s waiting room. She was knitting while she waited.
A man who was also waiting and had been observing her, suddenly asked “Why do you waste your time doing that?”
The woman replied “When I leave here, I will have half a dish rag, what will you have?”
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What I want you to get out of this at the very most is that you are worth it. You’re worth the time, money and effort investment and I know that if you truly want to, you can do it!
If you would like to view this post in video format (and watch me weave), I invite you to watch here-
Until next time…
Happy Weaving!
Love your comment that it could be a long time to retirement! I call it my retirement training – training to do what I love and truly enjoy. We do pass through life meeting all of those milestones as you mentioned and then some of us are fortunate enough to bump into something that sparks our interest and passion. I feel truly blessed to have this opportunity and thank you for your blog and weaving school!
🥰
Wise words Kelly, and I identify with the little story near the end. Many of my friends complain about all the time that they have to sit waiting, mainly for various appointments. I always enjoy that time and accomplish quite a bit of various types of hand stitching, knitting, or reading up on a new technique that I’d like to try. Not only that, it gives an opening for people to strike up a conversation with you, when normally they would be sitting staring at the floor. While stitching in one waiting room a few years ago, a lovely lady approached me and said she had a box of fabric in her car that she didn’t know what to do with and would I like it. We had a lovely chat and I came home with some unexpected fabric.
That’s wonderful!
Excellent! I couldn’t agree more!
❤️
That was great, Kelly. I read the post before I saw that there was the video version, and when I clicked it and walked away to grab my coffee, I came back to one of our kitties engrossed in watching you weave. 🥰
But you’re absolutely right, anyone can do it if they really want to. You may recall my telling you that I’ve had my little Schacht RH loom fir over 40 years and just started using it. I had many of those same excuses keeping me from getting it out and trying it. You are the main reason I’m now enjoying it, as way back then, there was no YouTube, and there were no classes near me. When I joined one of the Facebook weaving groups practically everyone said take the Kelly Casanova classes! So that’s what I’m doing and it has changed my life, too. Thank you! You make it all understandable with your detailed, and friendly manner.
I can’t say I’ve ever taught a kitty to weave, but there’s a first time for everything 😆
What a timely post. I read it just after I commented on your new pattern that I didn’t know how you find the time – now I do, I also realized that my excuse it that I might not do everything right – and why should I expect to when I’m a new weaver? I’m going to make more time for my weaving and realize that “practice makes better”
Yes! 😀
Kelly,
My thoughts are so much like yours. There is so much for a wife and mother to accomplish in her daily routines. Don’t let anyone ever tell us it’s not a full time job. I love being able to stay home with my family. I work hard to provide for everyone’s needs, but while I am doing my duties my thoughts are leaning toward my weaving and crafts. I know that if I get my duties all done then I will have time to work on my own projects. This process really satisfies my cravings to learn and further develop my skills. I can not wait to learn something new about weaving everyday.
❤️❤️❤️
Sometimes you are given the gift of having to find the time. I started spinning five years ago when I retired. This fall for my birthday my crafty sister in law gave me a ten inch rigid heddle loom. My first response was I don’t have time to learn how to weave. It sat in the box for two months, taunting me, telling me insane afraid I was too old to learn this new talent. Finally, I opened it, put it together, bought a stand, out it together and learned to weave – with some help from your website! I love it. I’m making gorgeous scarves, all because my sister in law knew I could handle the challenge. I wrote about it on my blog http://www.spinningromance.com under The Gift. I’m thankful I “found” the time to learn. Thanks for being here to share your gift for weaving and teaching! My edges keep improving!
It’s great to hear that you’re improving, but even better to hear that you’re just making the time to do it ❤️
I always keep a small knitting project (usually socks) in the car, so when I have to wait somewhere I at least feel like I am making good use of the time. I actually started knitting and crocheting when my MIL was having some significant health issues that had us in and out of waiting rooms frequently – I have SO MUCH TO DO and I was really struggling with anxiety at all the time I was spending not getting anything done. Working on a knit or crochet project really calms that anxiety and helps me wait patiently, feeling like I’m accomplishing something even though maybe it’s not what I intended for the time.
As in your illustration above, I can’t count the number of times someone has commented to me, while watching me calmly making something in the time I’m sitting, that “they wish they had time for something like that” or “they would never have the time or patience for that” – I often explain to them WHY I took up the hobby, and say, “I don’t have the time or patience to NOT be doing something productive while I sit here! ;-)”
Love it! ❤️
Wise words Kelly!
Thanks for reading, Debby!
Once when sitting demonstrating bobbin lace making, working on an extremely simple pattern so visitors to the show could have a go, two little girls of maybe 5 and 7 stopped a bit away from me, to watch. The perfect age for them to start so I asked them if they wanted to try. At that point Mum, who had been looking at something on the previous stand arrived, swept the two up and marched off with the loud comment “You don’t want to do things like that – it takes TIME.”
I have wondered ever since what she considered to be legitimate use for TIME for them if doing a craft was such a big no no.
Sigh. A missed opportunity 😕 I hope you had some others who were interested, it’s so wonderful to share what you love.