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Fear of Failure

“I’m scared I’m going to fail”.
A brief pause, a very slight sigh. My husband is used to this. He is strong, trusting and practical. Me? I’m prone to nervousness, flightiness and a sense that things won’t turn out.
It’s one of those late at night conversations, the children are in bed and we have some precious moments to ourselves before we have to sleep.

“Are you scared that you are running out of ideas for classes?” he asks. Oh no, that is not the trouble at all.
It’s failure that I’m afraid of. So often there is a voice in the back of my head saying “what is the point of all this work, you know you’re going to fail anyway”. Sometimes this fear has been strong enough that I don’t try something new or pursue a different idea, fear can be crippling. Many times I have made the decision to give up on trying to make a business, only to change my mind the next day.

I have put so much work into new classes. I have taken the risk of launching on a new platform, it’s a wonderful step to have taken, but it’s expensive and risky.

My sensible and pragmatic husband listens quietly to my concerns as he has done time and again. He points out that you never know unless you try. He reminds me that it’s all in God’s hands and if the business does not succeed, it is because He wills it not to – for His own reasons and because He loves and knows me best.

My husband reminds me what I already know, but find very difficult to live. It is not all about me. Everything is a gift, including my life, and that I must be willing to give back to He who gives so generously.

Giveaway – one year subscription!

by Kelly Leave a Comment

To celebrate the launch of my new weaving school on Teachable, I’m having a little giveaway. The winner will receive a one year subscription, entitling them to access any class, any time for a full year. Head over to my Facebook page to check out the entry conditions and to put your entry in. The winner will be drawn at the end of this week. Good luck!

Launching on a new platform

by Kelly 5 Comments

After a lot of research and deliberation, I decided to launch my video classes on a new platform. My Youtube paid subscription channel has been going for a year now, and there have been a whole lot of headaches! Many technical glitches and inconsistencies, viewers being unsubscribed, not able to access after paying, not able to access from certain countries, and the list goes on! Almost daily, I get messages from subscribers having problems with the channel, I had to find a better way. So, you can now find my classes on Teachable. This is great news for a few reasons:

*You have the option of subscribing for a full year or monthly.

*You have the option of just purchasing individual classes rather than a full subscription. Each individual class also comes with a printable PDF pattern with full instructions and photos to compliment the video class. You can’t go wrong with all that information!

*You can subscribe or purchase a class from anywhere in the world.

*You can view your classes on a computer or device, it is available across all platforms.

The Youtube platform will continue to run for those who prefer to use it. Youtube has been the perfect viewing platform for many people, so that will not change. I will continue to upload videos to the Youtube platform as well. I just needed to give other options for those who need it.

How about you hop over and check out the new platform? Yes, it’s different to Youtube but I hope you find it easy to navigate and use.

I still have plenty of work to do there and will continue to update and improve over the coming weeks, so keep watching. It’s easy to keep an eye on my Teachable “school” by joining and logging in – you don’t need to purchase a class or subscription to join and be updated when new content is available.
I hope to see you there!

Away

by Kelly 2 Comments

It’s been quiet here because we have been away.

A blissful beach holiday with no phones or internet.

Days of walking and watching, fishing and resting.

So peaceful, just the beautiful sounds of wildlife and waves to listen to.

It was really hard coming home, particularly when we hit the city traffic. But I do feel rested and restored and ready to get back into daily life.

Project patience

by Kelly 3 Comments

I am working on the most beautiful shawl. After a run of towels I felt the need to weave something really beautiful. I love shawls, the drape, the practicality, the loveliness, so it wasn’t a hard choice. I had this stunning tencel that I had hand dyed ages ago and wound into a warp ready for a scarf.

But, I changed my mind and decided I needed it for the shawl instead! Plenty of time and unwinding later, I was ready to wind a shawl warp instead. The warp went onto the loom like a dream, in fact tencel itself is rather dreamy.

The threading is the part that takes me the longest and I’m hoping my speed will increase eventually. After pusing myself to work late one night, I finally had the reed sleyed and the warp tied on. I was ready to weave!
Except I wasn’t.
I had put the reed and beater on backwards. Yes, I actually did that! Untie the warp, unsley the reed, remove it, turn it around, re-sley the reed, re-tie the warp and presto, I really was ready to weave this time.

I chose another hand dyed tencel that I thought would contrast well and began. Uh oh. The tencel I had chosen for the weft was variegated. The pattern got lost in the busy-ness of the warp. I realised this was a possibility when I chose it as weft but decided to chance it anyway. It took me a couple of inches of weaving to realise it wasn’t going to work. Enter un-weaving (not nearly as fun as weaving, trust me!)

So…. (this is starting to read a bit like a drama and it sure as heck started to feel like one!) I chose a lovely mercerised cotton in Peacock as the weft and away I went. Ah, much better.
Then I realised. Some selvedge warp threads had broken and fallen away from the reed. When had that happened? I had no idea, but it was definitely a problem! My selvedge on that side was looking quite un-perfect.

Fortunately this was a fairly quick fix and I was back into the weaving. I’m about a quarter of the way through now, I wonder what other treats and surprises the next three quarters has in store for me!

Sketch Tuesday – on a tree

by Kelly Leave a Comment

I thought it was high time that we got back into joining in Sketch Tuesday over on the Harmony Fine Arts blog.

The girls were reluctant to have a go – I think they are too used to drawing what they want rather than within a theme. It’s a great way to challenge your drawing skills and expand though, so I told the girls that I intended to draw a picture and so they could too. It worked!

This week’s theme is “on a tree”. The youngest decided to draw a tree in bloom.

My 9 year old girl drew a kite stuck in a tree.

My 11 year old drew some Barn Owletts.

And I drew a Fairy Wren. Do you know how long it’s been since I actually sat down and drew something? Me neither! Too long!

I think I will try to do this more often. Maybe you and your children want to join in the fun too?

Planning to NOT fail

by Kelly 8 Comments

Last year was a bit of a doozy in our little homeschool and it’s only in the past couple of weeks that I’ve figured out what went wrong.

I was trying to juggle the demands of family, homeschooling, activities outside the home, volunteer roles and a growing home business and so I assumed that there was simply too much for me to do on my own. This lead to exhaustion and a definite lack of hope – how could I get through everything that needed to be done?

Towards Christmas and in the holidays afterwards it started to dawn on me. Each day would start with that overwhelmed feeling, knowing I would be chasing my tail until I fell into bed that night. You would think after 12 years of doing this, I would have systems in place, but life is ever changing as people grow and every year is different to the last. I started thinking – does it have to be this way? What positive changes could I make to avoid another year in this state?

Well, a few years ago, I decided that I hated planning. I felt that if I spent the best part of my day educating the children, why should I spend my precious evenings planning for the next day? So I did away with all planning and I think that is where things started to go wrong, though at the time I felt I was freeing myself of a great burden. I think also over this time period, the kids, whether consciously or sub consciously, began to lost confidence in me. And I definitely began to lose confidence in me!

But now I was ready to give planning another try – not in the way that I used to. At the start of this year, I bought a planner from Homeschooling Downunder and printed out the pages I felt would be relevant. I bought colour coded folders and boxes for each child.

I sat down, mostly amongst the noise and interruptions that come with having your children with you 24/7 and I spent hours writing lists and schedules. I didn’t like doing it. I would much rather have been weaving! But now, as our homeschool year has begun, I am already seeing the fruits of having a solid plan.

The kids have learned how to find their own schedules in my planning folder so they know what is expected of them. This worked perfectly yesterday morning when I had to sit in a medical waiting room for 2 hours. Under the supervision of their older brother, my 2 middle children worked independently, while I had the youngest child with me doing our current read aloud.

There is a new jobs roster too – ensuring that everyone pitches in to help because it is written down and followed. I’ve scheduled morning tea teams, which I’m hoping will lead to lunch teams and eventually dinner teams – lessening the time that I need to spend in the kitchen each day and teaching the children to work together responsibly in food preparation and clean up.

I do a quick 10 minute prep each night to ensure I have materials ready for any experiments or activities the next day. I’m finding that the children thrive on this organised schedule and they even admit that the day goes more smoothly when they get up early and are at the table ready to go. I’ve also decided against some activities outside the home this year – our home is our hub and should be treated with love and respect!

Is it perfect? No way, nothing ever is! I still have very full days, I still have to deal with poor attitudes sometimes, I still don’t love planning! But, there does seem to be more time in the afternoons for me to focus on my weaving and business and the children are much happier with a set routine. So, for now, this is how we roll.

I wish you all the very best in your homeschool this year, may it bring you many blessings and much joy!

Slouchy satchel bag – new lessons

by Kelly 1 Comment

Remember that gorgeous looking warp from my last post? This is the result! The whole project was woven on the rigid heddle loom with two heddles but different techniques. The bag was woven as a tube so it’s completely seamless, and the strap was woven as double weave, providing a firm and sturdy fabric.

A lot of people have commented on the yarn, and rightly so, it is wonderful. It’s called Bloom and is available from Bendigo Woollen Mills.

If you’re interested in weaving your own bag, the lessons are available on my Weaving Lessons channel and include all the instructions you will need from materials, warping, sewing and finishing.

I look forward to seeing you there!

I’m a silly sausage!

by Kelly 10 Comments

What?! 6 months since I last took the time to post here?! Outrageous!
But let me explain.

Just over a year ago I uploaded a couple of weaving videos to Youtube. I was just interested in sharing, considering I don’t actually know any real life weavers, I suppose I was welling up with excitement at all my weaving discoveries. And sharing is fun!

So, what happened? Well, very unexpectedly, the videos were well received. People started subscribing to my channel and talking about them in Facebook weaving groups. And they’re still subscribing and talking!

All of the enthusiasm and positive feedback inspired me to make more videos. The rest, as they say, is history!

I now have two Youtube channels. One is free to watch, the other is on a paid subscription basis. I started the paid channel because many (most) of my videos take hours in the planning, filming, editing and instructing. Plus the cost of all the materials. I have made the channel affordable and aim to have a huge library of videos available to subscribers, as well as exciting projects, techniques and the occasional giveaway. It’s the place that I’m happy to give away my weaving secrets 🙂 I’m really pleased that many have joined this new channel and hope that it grows over the next year.

Growing the dream.
All of the above has allowed me to hope a little more that my dreams may be possible. I may eventually be able to move past the “pocket money” stage of online teaching into the “actual income” stage. I may be able to start teaching real life classes.
And ultimately, one day, I may be able to have my own teaching studio. Big ask, I know!

in 2017 I’ll be putting a lot of work into my paid channel. Doing videos for both channels this year has been rewarding in many ways, but in addition to my homeschooling commitments I have found myself a little burnt out and suffering some niggly health conditions at this end of the year. I feel I spent way too much precious time sitting at the computer! So, the paid channel will be my main focus next year.

If you haven’t seen my channels yet, you can find the free one here and the paid channel here.

I hope you had a most blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!

I’ll try to make it here more often, really I will…